A reflector haze trim with the shorter triple tube lamp gives the best look. With the lamp on you can’t see anything but light when looking directly up into the trim. When off the deeper recessing with the triple tube keeps you from seeing it unless trying to see it. No one walks around looking up at ceilings at steep angles because it is not comfortable to do so except when curious and checking things out. You don’t say what housing but the 5? [...]

For your lighting control system, it would be expensive but possible to make every fixture independent. Group the light fixtures as it makes sense. Each independent fixture or group will be wired to a remotely mounted dimmer or switch. Some systems have multiple dimmers and switches in a single device called a module. The systems can be programmed to operate as you suggest with group A, B etc., controlled by individual buttons or by current use [...]